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Divorce Recovery

A Message From Kimberley-

This article is also available as a video. Click here to see it.

I wasn't prepared for those words, "I'm filing for divorce." The lump that developed in my throat slid down, took my heart with it, and settled in my stomach. During what seemed to be an everlasting silence, sixteen years of memories (both good and bad) raced through my head until I felt like my brain was going to explode. As I hung up the phone, I started to cry. I felt like I was going to die. The world as I knew it was coming to an end. What was I going to do?

During the weeks and months that followed, I dealt with bouts of depression, outbreaks of insecurity, moments of loneliness, feats of anger with God, myself and my ex-husband. Finally, after several months of crying, I finally sought the Lord and asked Him how to take the pain away. His answer was simple and clear, "Grieve, go on, and grow in Me." I must admit that I was a bit upset, as I wanted God deal with my ex-husband. I needed Him to tell me that He was going to make him hurt as much as I did.

As I expressed my dissatisfaction with His answer, God's words remained the same: Grieve, go on, and grow in Me. Although it wasn't easy, I tried daily to follow God's lead. Some days were easier than others. There were times of discouragement, where I felt like I could not go any further, disappointment, when things didn't turn out the way I expected, distance, when I felt like God had abandoned me, detriments and setbacks that were the results of my taking things into my own hands. There were also days that I wanted to throw in the towel and settle for a life of misery. But everytime I wanted to let go, God would allow something to occur that would give the courage and strength to go on a bit longer.

Looking back, I realized that as God was ministering to my pain, He was also healing the hurt not only from the divorce, but of my past as well. As the days turned into months and the months into years, I discovered that the pain I thought would never go away wasn't there anymore, and that I was having more good days than bad days. Furthermore, as God was healing me, He was allowing me to come alongside my children and help them to work through their pain. Slowly but surely, we started to live again.

As the years progressed, I noticed that my relationship with the Lord changed. I no longer came to Him just for problems. I found that I enjoy spending time not only talking to Him, but listening to Him, and being in His presence. It's an indescribable closeness that I would not change for the world. God is not just my Father, but my friend as well. A few weeks ago, someone asked me how does one survive the process of divorce. My words to them echoed the words that God gave to me: Grieve, go on, and grow in Him. I look forward to us sharing how to apply God's instructions on our conference call.

May God continue to bless and keep you safe in His arms. Peace and blessings, Kimberley


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