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Value Yourself!

By Angela Willingham

August 6, 2012

I remember my grandmother telling me once that "It's a poor frog that does not praise it's own pond".  Honestly, when I heard it I thought that is just another one of those sayings that older people from the south had.  As it was brought back to my rememberance today it made a lot of  sense.  We are taught as my sister Monica Craig quoted from the bible not to think more highly of ourselves than we ought think and I wonder if some how we have not taught people to think less of themselves than they should.  To make themselves something with no value in our efforts to be holy.  

Romans 12:3 New Living Translation (NLT)


3 As God's messenger, I give each of you this warning: Be honest in your estimate of yourselves, measuring your value by how much faith God has given you.

It think we never get past the a portion of the scripture which tells us not to think more highly of ourselves than we ought to think.  We never get to the part that talks about doing it according to the measure of faith God has given to us.  Valuing ourselves according to our faith is totally different than just not thinking more highly of ourselves than we should.  He has given me faith to believe I can accomplish some awesome tasks, so that is how I have to value myself.  We instead walk around like we have no value, heads down, speaking in false humility, not acknowledging our gifts or the power of God that is in us.  Not wanting people to perceive us as being haughty or prideful because we know who we are or whose we are.

I remember a friend once asking me, "Angela, why is it all or nothing with you?"  Honestly, at that time I did not know why I was that way.  It was just the way it was.  There were certain things, I just would not tolerate or put up with as it related to me.  There were standards that I had set for myself and how I would be treated without even realizing that was the case.  I watched other people and especially women putting up with any and every thing and allowing themselves to be treated any kind of way just to have somebody's attention and I did not understand it.  I found myself watching episodes of Love and Hip Hop-Atlanta (check it out on-line so you can get an idea of what I am talking about.)  I watched women allowing themselves to be pulled along by a string, manipulated into going along with the flow because it worked for the person in control. 

Another friend told me that my standards were to high.  The way I lived my life they could never live that way.  I think that is interesting.  Yes, there are some things God has changed related to me.  The standards were not lowered, they were changed.  Changed to remove the stuff that was coming from a religious spirit, attitude and mindset and He replaced them with more relational standards.  So the person was right on some level, but at the same time-recognize that the people God intends to be in your life will work with you while He develops you.  It is not their responsibility to develop you even though they might think it is.  They will be in your corner, struggling with you while you struggle to become the person God intends for you to be, but they will not condemn who you are.  They will not try to force you to be who they think you should be.  Anyone that tries to force you is dealing with their own value and control issues and you have to let them do that, but not at your expense.  Not at the cost of losing you to please them.  Understand that God will place the people in your life of His choosing.  They will not deem your standards to be to high, because they will know your value.  My firend Moncia also shared that you should never lower your sticker price.  Let them know this is the price of this model and it's okay if you want to choose something else.  Let them shop the lot, don't lower the sticker price just to occupy their time or to sell the product.  In the end it will not be worth it.  Many times the time we spend in that position or condition only wears us down and soon we no longer recognize our own value.  Stuff that use to be unacceptable becomes acceptable.  Yelling at you, talking down to you, cheating on you, lying to you, controlling you.........  When did your value get so low that whatever anyone said or did was okay.  If you once valued yourself this can happen over time, through compromising what you believe in for what somebody else wants.  Making what they desire more important than what you desire.  Choosing acceptance over standards. 

When my friend asked me why is it all or nothing with you, I really did not know the answer.  It was just the way it was.  But here is the answer "Because, I am worth it!"  Everything about me is not perfect, nor is everything about you.  I may be overweight and I am working on that, but the total package is worth it.  There will be no mark downs for my being overweight or having a past that is less than perfect.  Remember that as a vehicle is restored to it's original or even better condition the asking price goes up, but never down.  God is a restorer and if we allow Him to He will restore us to an even better condition than when we started out.  All right Monica, I got it.  We need to ask for more not less, within reason.  We are worth it! 


Psalms 139:14 New Living Translation (NLT)


14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous -- and how well I know it.

You better know it, because if you don't nobody else has too!

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