June 16, 2008

 Healthy Relationships Require Us To Be Selfless!

Over the last few months I have been looking at my relationships and the relationships of those around me and I see one consistent thread. The relationships that are the most successful are the ones where the individuals involved place the needs of others ahead of their own. Most of us started out being selfish. It is just human nature. As children everything is “mine”, but as we get older we learn how to share.

A parent that still sees everything as theirs and is unable to share with his or her children is not much of a parent at all. They are not able to teach their children to share and be selfless because they are not selfless themselves.

Imagine if God had been selfish. If He had not chosen to send His beloved Son to the cross for your sins and mine, our salvation would not have been assured. Imagine if our parents had been to selfish to put our needs first when they found themselves pregnant and that was not what they really had planned for that time. We may have been aborted so that they could pursue their own desires.

Imagine a marriage where the bread winner decides that I don’t feel like working any more so I am going to stay home and watch TV, hang out at the club or find something else to do and the responsibility for feeding, clothing and providing shelter for my family will get done the best way it can.

Our relationship with God through Jesus Christ, our relationships with our children, parents, husbands and wives are all perfect examples of relationships that require that we be selfless if they are to be healthy. Selfishness in relationships puts a lot of strain on the relationship, those around it and also on the people we claim to love.

Over the last week I have been challenged to check out my own relationships. To determine whether I was being selfish or just setting boundaries for myself. Healthy relationships are not relationships where you allow others to run over you. Healthy relationships are ones where you stand up for your beliefs and desires and also respect the beliefs, rights and desires of others.

If you want your relationship to be healthy you will sometimes have to say things that are difficult, but the bible is clear that we can and should speak the truth in love. Ephesians 4:15 says, 15Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. Healthy relationships require honesty, however, it is important that we use the right tone and the right attitude when we say what God puts on our hearts to say. Ephesians 4:25 goes on to say, 25Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body.

Love and a desire for a healthy relationship cause us to speak the truth, but we must do it in love. Selfishness causes us to remain quiet and let our sister or brother go astray, but love and selflessness puts the need of my brother or sister first and causes us to be honest and to do it in a way that pleases the Lord.

If you desire to have healthy relationships, we encourage you to evaluate your most important relationships this week, starting with your relationship with God. Have you been selfish with Him or selfless? Have you put your time with Him first or has it been ignored? Are there barriers between you and family members, friends or co-workers that have been raised up by selfishness, barriers that have been raised by disrespect and dishonesty? Have you allowed your friend or brother to walk around with polka dots and stripes on because you wanted to keep the peace? Keeping the peace is good, but it is selfish if you maintain it just so that you don’t have to step outside of your comfort zone and deal with the real issues.

Weekly Scripture:
Ephesians 4:25: 25Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body.

We just worked out spiritually. If you have not worked out your physical temple get up and join us in the:

New Beginnings 2008 Workout Focus
10,000/steps per day or 70,000/steps per week Walking Program*

This is the fitness opportunity that New Beginnings is promoting for 2008. It is simple and easy and almost everyone can participate at whatever level of fitness they are at. All you need is a good pair of walking shoes, comfortable clothing, a pedometer, and you're all set.
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