December 4, 2006

Unequally Yoked, Means He Is Not the Right One For Me!

When I was in my 20’s or early 30’s, I remember hearing our Sunday School Superintendent, Bro. Jack giving us young women relationship advice about dating men that were not in church. Of course most of us did not listen because we knew better than this wise older gentleman that had been around the block a few times. We either argued our point that we had to date men outside the church because all of the men in the church were already married or we ignored him altogether.

We argued that it was our responsibility to lead these unsaved/unchurched men to a saving relationship with Jesus Christ. What we did not know was that this man was full of wisdom, he was not the Sunday School Superintendent for no reason. He said that’s how it start at least that is what we say, but what usually happens is rather than the person who knows God leading the other to a saving relationship with Him we end up being drawn out of the church ourselves.

Over the last several months I have seen what he was talking about played out in reality before my eyes. The bad part is that it is not always the unsaved that we are dealing with. Sometimes we find ourselves in relationships with those who may not be as spiritually mature as we are. Maybe they are saved but they have not yet given God Lordship of their lives. That means they have not given Him control. They will not let Him drive the car. While you are teaching bible study classes and going on mission trips, he is still hanging out in the club, watching pornography and giving his body to anyone that wants to partake of it.

You are trying to grow in your relationship with God and he wants to skip church as often as he can. You know the comments he makes, “Come on baby, I’m tired and I am going to sleep in today.” “I was out late last night.” “This is my only day to rest.” Before you know it he is not going to church at all and you are overlooking it and accepting his excuses. If you are not careful you begin going out with him. You begin to make excuses for skipping church because you overslept or just didn’t feel like getting out of bed. The nights get later, he begins to spend the night. You know this is wrong, but just this one time. The things that use to bother your spirit have begun to be less and less offensive. Things that use to make you uncomfortable, you now laugh about.

He is having problems with his rent or paying his bills and you want to help out so you let him move in. It is wrong and he brought it on himself, but he neeeeeeeeeeds me…..Next thing you know you are shacking up and making excuses. We are going to get married anyway or at least I hope so. How many of these live-in situations have never resulted in a God ordained marriage? Well with all my bible knowledge at age 27 that’s where I found myself. To make it worse, I had no desire to marry him. The result was sex without being married, a bad witness for my son and the man involved and a separation in my relationship with God. Even if we were going to get married is this the way God wants us to do it?

A friend told me my standards are too high. I don’t apologize for having high standards. I have learned from the Word of God what the standards should be and attempted to apply them to my life. If you had made the mistakes I have made and your life had been spared as mine has you would understand why I have adopted God’s standards as my own. I could be somewhere dying of AIDS, or with several children and no means of support. Anything less than God’s standard will allow me to apply my feelings or opinions based on what? What the world says? I would rather be rejected for being obedient to God than for compromising those standards to be with you and then missing out on the blessings God has for my obedience.

Be careful. In 2 Corinthians 6:14-18, the bible says,Do Not Be Yoked With Unbelievers For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 15What harmony is there between Christ and Belial[b]? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? 16What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: "I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people."[c] 17"Therefore come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you."[d] 18"I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty."[e]

He or she may be a good man or woman according to the world’s standards. Yes, they are children of God and He wants to see them come into a personal relationship with Him, but He is not using you as the bait to do it. Let God do it, before you find yourself compromising. The bible is clear in Romans 12:1-2, 1 And so, dear brothers and sisters,[a] I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him.[b] 2 Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. God did not create us to be used as barter or a tradeoff. If you are not already married examine your relationship to determine, is this the one God has for me, or have I compromised?

If you are already married and find yourself unequally yoked we encourage you to pray for yourself and your unbelieving spouse. What kind of witness for Christ have you been? Pray that your life will be an example of God’s love and that your unbelieving spouse will be drawn to God through your witness.

  Weekly Scripture

 2 Corinthians 6:14-16a: 14 Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? 15 What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil[a]? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever? 16 And what union can there be between God’s temple and idols? For we are the temple of the living God.

For further discussion contact angela@mynewtemple.org or write to us on the message board http://mynewtemple.org/aMessages.html.