December 10, 2007

Feminine vs Sexy

In Webster’s dictionary the word sexy is defined as being sexually suggestive or stimulating. Feminine is described as being related to being female.

What do these words mean to you? Do you define them the same way that Webster’s does?

Over the last 6 months, God has allowed me to personally become more comfortable with my own femininity. No longer wearing the long jackets to cover up my hips or hiding behind oversized workout clothes. That does not mean that I am wearing blouses that expose my breasts or skirts that are too short or too tight. I adopted a new attitude about me. I no longer hide my femininity as a lot of women have been taught to do both Christian and non-Christian.

I have adopted a desire to see the package God gave me responsibility for wrapped differently. I have adopted a signature scent that I enjoy smelling and wearing. It makes me smile when other people express that it smells nice or compliment me on it. It makes me feel good when people compliment how I am dressed or how an outfit looks on me. I don’t get dressed for them, but I think it is time for us to acknowledge that we all enjoy compliments. It does not mean we have a big head, we are human and compliments, while they should not be the end all, be all for us are nice and they provide encouragement for us.

The bible clearly states in 1 Timothy 2:9: 9 And I want women to be modest in their appearance.[a] They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes. What does that mean to you in 2007? What is modest? Does that mean clothes that are too big and make our bodies non-descript? Should what we wear be able to help someone distinguish whether or not we are male or female?

I do not take that to mean that we should not look nice or accessorize. I believe it is really saying not to be flashy or gaudy or as my son said wearing stuff that says look at me, look at me! Many of my sister friends and I have been told that we were sexy. The outfit we wore could have been a business suit with a turtleneck. If being sexy is wrong and that is how we were dressed, what should we be wearing? Is the problem us or the one that is looking and what if anything can we as women do about it? Do we stop wearing perfume? If I feel good about how I look and smell and somebody labels it sexy am I wrong? The other day, I drove into the parking garage and the security guard said, “you look sexy in that black car.” He did not see what I had on and he definitely could not smell me, so what is sexy?

I was seeking the male perspective on this topic, so I went to some men whose opinions I trust. His Royal Highness The Prince, my son, answered quickly. His words of wisdom to me were that many people mistake sexy with slutty. He said, sexy is in the eye of the person looking at it, the eye of the beholder, which is why it is different for each person.

He also let me know that in his opinion, sexy is classy, a cleanness. He said classy is something you can see but you can’t touch it. As many times as you might try to go to Victoria’s Secret, sexy is not something you can buy, it can’t be created, you either have it or you don’t, it’s an attitude, an unstated confidence. When he described it like that it changed everything for me. My other male friends were not as quick as he was so I am still waiting for their responses.

What does all this say to me? It says that as we become more feminine and walking into being the women God has called us to be, someone might identify that as sexy.

We have no control over that. We need to be women and not men. We need to stop being ashamed of who we are and what our bodies look like, that does not mean we need to flaunt it, however, it does mean we need to accept who we are and how we look. In all honesty, I used to talk a good game, but I realize I was really not comfortable with who I was, but now I am more comfortable with who I am and I encourage you to become more comfortable with your femininity and who God created you to be. Whether you choose to wear a thong, bikini, hi-cut, granny panty or boy short, do what makes you comfortable. Do you! Don’t flaunt it, walk in it.

Weekly Scripture:

1 Timothy 2:9: 9 And I want women to be modest in their appearance.[a] They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes.